The 1996 Skate Against Domestic Violence

What follows is a representation of what happened on the 1996 Skate Against Domestic Violence. You can find this page on the world wide web at:

Prologue

Talking about domestic violence isn't like living it. A beating teaches only the horror of love turned into pain. It doesn't teach anything about why. To understand why you have to observe the patterns which lead to domestic violence. To observe these patterns you have to be present in a threatening, psychologically and emotionally challenging situation. You have to experience your own personal limits being broken again and again at the same time as people you are depending on are having their limits broken. Then you have to keep your wits about you and look at what is happening to see what the patterns are.

Seventeen women accepted the challenge and the risk of having their limits tested in order to raise awareness of domestic violence. They prepared for and skated a 700-mile in-line skating relay marathon from San Francisco to San Diego in just four days and three nights. Their goal was to raise funds for the San Francisco Domestic Violence Consortium. They lived through an experience which would show them all how domestic violence could happen, even though no violence actually occurred on the trip. People's limits were exceeded though and it was enlightening for all.

The Roller Divas, a women's skating club in San Francisco, worked with Southern California Rollerskating / In-Line Promotions (SCRIP) to produce the event. SCRIP had promises of support and sponsorship from a primary source, the "Friends of Russell Lattimer Foundation", to provide fundraising services for the event. SCRIP was responsible for coordinating the event, renting and driving the RVs, providing food and arranging for media events along the way. The Roller Divas were responsible for supplying skaters and training them for the marathon event. They were to be "treated as queens".

In fact, neither SCRIP nor the "Friends of Russell Lattimer Foundation" raised any money at all and a few weeks before the event was to begin no money was available to pay for anything. The Roller Divas could have simply given up, but they had committed themselves to the skate and they began actively fundraising. They raised in two weeks about enough to cover half the $3200 budget for the event. However, the funds were available so late in the process of preparation that some necessary items were not purchased before the event. There wasn't enough food and what was provided was not suitable for marathon athletes. There was no CB radio in one of the recreational vehicles which provided support even though I had personally purchased one for the RV that I would be driving.

The funds (contribution checks) were turned over to SCRIP but were not accessible easily because there was no ATM card for the account and the SCRIP organizers didn't have cash with them because the checks had not cleared before the trip began. They also had no credit cards. As a result, personal cash contributions were required during the trip to pay for gasoline and other incidental costs until the SCRIP organizers could visit a bank during business hours somewhere during the event. The lack of money made a very difficult event just that much harder and more frustrating to the Roller Divas who had worked hard raising those funds even though it had never been part of the original plans for the event.

Beginnings

After the speakers, the event began when all the women skated out of Justin Herman Plaza, along Stuart, and then down Mission. After a few miles, all the skaters but the first team got back into the RV to wait for their team's turn to skate. There were five teams. Each team skated for an hour and then had four hours off to recover.

Spirits were high in my RV as we listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, watched a team of skaters in graceful motion ahead, and felt relieved that the weeks of intensive preparation were finally over and the event had begun. The skaters took their shifts and settled into the RVs wondering what the next few days would bring.

Before the first rotation of teams was completed there was a dispute over how many teams there were supposed to be. The Roller Divas had four teams and there was a team from San Diego as well. The SCRIP organizers had wanted four teams total. The misunderstanding created friction: SCRIP suggested reorganizing the teams to have only four, but the Roller Divas had trained together in teams and wanted to remain so. It would have been more of a sore point if people didn't mock the conflict with humor later.

The skating was glorious. Hour after hour teams of women took the road in a rolling, coordinated wave of motion that captured the eyes of anyone who saw. Rolling past a school in the central valley drew a crowd of cheering children to the fence to watch the skaters. They clenched their fingers in the fence. They were old enough to read the signs on our RVs and realize that these women were skating from San Francisco to San Diego. I think somewhere in that crowd at least one little girl was realizing that she could do that too if she wanted.

The teams skated past cotton fields and corn fields and sheep fields and oil fields and town fields and home fields with kids playing baseball. They skated in daylight and midnight on good pavement and bad, on narrow shoulders and on roads strewn with gravel. They skated and skated and then tried to sleep, but sleeping is hard in the jostling RV with the voices of friends and the noise of the passing cars and the wildly flapping banners tied to the sides of the RVs.

We had to drive on highway 198 to Coalinga after the highway patrol stopped the skate at 4:30 am for traveling too slowly on a two-lane road which doesn't permit passing. The officers were very polite and sympathetic with the domestic violence cause, but they refused to accept the SCRIP organizers' word that their skate had been approved along the entire route. They had no documentation to prove the route had been sanctioned for the event.

After hours more skating we stopped at a truck stop in Buttonwillow. We filled the fuel tanks of the RVs and emptied their septic tanks. All the women shared a single shower room with only five towels, but the showers refreshed everyone. Then the skaters got on the road and the other RV took off to follow them. One of the women in my RV checked the fluid levels and found that our RV had no potable water (which is used for cooking and for flushing the toilet). We quickly decided to spend a few minutes to fill the potable water tank even though we would have to catch up to the skaters as a result. I was amazed at the spontaneous and effective team work I observed. One woman jumped out to ask where the potable water was. Another jumped out to help me back the RV out of its position. I drove to where the first woman directed and someone else jumped out to get the water hose into position. Within minutes the RV was full of potable water and we were on the road. A few minutes later we caught up with the other RV and the skaters.

Suddenly, someone inside my RV shouted that the toilet was overflowing. I honked repeatedly at the other RV to get them to stop but they did not hear. I stopped the RV and ran back to check out the scene. I examined the flodding toilet and realized that it had been left in "flush" mode after the septic tanks had been drained and rinsed out, and that the fresh, potable water had been cycled into the septic tank, filling it completely. I first took the toilet out of its perpetual flush mode and turned off the water pump as well. But the toilet was full of water and the floor was soaked. Two women jumped to the task of removing the excess water using a towel (I sacrificed my only towel). They wore surgical gloves which the SCRIP organizers had thoughtfully placed on our RV for use while dealing with the septic system. Everyone was glad we had gloves because while the water was no longer potable even if it wasn't full of raw sewage.

We couldn't drive without spilling the water that was already in the toilet so I went outside and opened the septic flush valve briefly to evacuate a few gallons of water. The trucks and cars were whizzing by within a foot of me as I stood next to the RV on the side of the road. I closed the valve and ran back into the RV where I flushed the toilet. To the relief of everyone there was room in the tank and it flushed. Unfortunately almost all of our fresh water was gone and the septic tank was full again. There was no time to go back to the truck stop, so we pressed on without water or a functional toilet. We were all very thankful that the water that entered the RV from the toilet was clean. It would have been a horrible trip if raw sewage had entered the RV. We were all very frustrated to discovered that our cellular phone could not reach the cellular phone in the other RV, so we could not contact them. We caught up with them at the next point where teams traded off. We were glad we'd avoided a much more serious disaster.

The skate then proceeded down the central valley and we all stopped in Bakersfield for supplies and to service the RVs. Wherever we went we told people about what we were doing and why. Most people were astonished, but the farther along in our trip the more astonished they were. In Bakersfield people were still just amazed. The woman who ran the RV park we stopped at in Bakersfield was so impressed and pleased with our cause that she invited everyone to stop at her park next year for a big Mexican dinner! People fell in love with the skaters and their cause wherever they went because they were strong, heroic women standing up to a tremendous challenge.

Later, on another road, we were stopped by the highway patrol again. They stopped the RV that was following the skaters and I pulled the other RV off the road ahead. I could see the officers speaking with the SCRIP organizers driving the other RV. After about 10 minutes the officer drove forward to speak with us. At first he said "I'm afraid I'm going to have to shut you down." I kind of expected that and replied "Yea, we know." Then he smiled and said, "Unless you all sign this here." He held out one of the contact sheets with the head-shots of the skaters. It already bore the autographs of all the skaters in the first RV. He smiled widely as we all realized he just wanted the autographs. He'd helped the other RV play a prank on us. It was all taken in good fun and the skate continued.

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

At the top the skate continued again, past a town called Tehachapi, and onto a two-lane road with a howling, 50 mile-per-hour tailwind. The skaters came over a crest and found themselves on a steep down hill. The tailwind thrust them forward and suddenly it was impossible to stop. Two semi trucks sped toward the skaters from ahead. There were three women on the hill: Amy Rasmussen, Patricia Romero and Heidi Zimmerman. Amy tucked and began to skate the hill -- her speed rose quickly and she shot toward the front RV. Heidi was out of control and began to call out for help. The driver of the rear RV instinctively wanted to remain behind her to provide light and to be sure not to hit her if she fell, but she yelled for the RV to maneuver toward her so she could try to grab it.

Patricia Romero was between the RVs and saw the oncoming semis. She decided to take a controlled fall. She crouched down and rolled forward at about 30 miles per hour on the downhill road. Despite the fact she had no knee or elbow pads. Pat knows how to fall and she emerged from the maneuver with only two tiny scrapes on her knees. She quickly dragged herself off the road because her legs were trembling and shaky.

Five people screamed five different things at the driver of the RV, but Heidi wanted the RV to come closer and that's what was done. She tried to grab the RV but fell in the process. To the complete horror of everyone inside and outside, the RV ran over her legs. The sound, the unmistakable double bump, the fact that it was someone you knew and had skated with for days: this was not a movie and everyone was in shock. People screamed for the RV to stop, and it did. The front RV stopped too because it wasn't clear which was being asked to stop. Amy Rasmussen shot past at over 40 miles-per-hour into the darkness beyond the lights of the front RV. She looked stable and under control before she disappeared from view.

The trucks passed. Pat Romero struggled her way back up the hill, into the wind to reach the rear RV. People from the front RV ran back to the scene of the accident where Heidi lay on the ground motionless but conscious. Everyone from the first RV was surrounding her and bringing sleeping bags and blankets to keep her warm in the freezing wind. Amy Rasmussen had begun to skate back up the hill to rejoin everyone, and was picked up a few minutes later by the front RV. She had not fallen but had taken a terrifying high-speed skate in midnight darkness on an unknown road. It was about 1:30 am in the middle of the mountains, more than 10 miles from any town.

Everyone came together to help Heidi. One of the San Diego skaters was a registered nurse and she determined that there was no neck or spine injury. Heidi was carefully moved onto a sleeping bag and then people carried the bag and her into the RV. As the RVs were turning around a fire truck, ambulance highway patrol officer arrived on the scene. They were waved off and the RVs drove back to Tehachapi where there was a 24-hour emergency hospital. On the way Heidi talked with people and explained to them that the RV had run over her calves and knees. She had some blood on her legs and was in shock, but she didn't seem to be in excruciating pain.

We waited in the emergency room in Tehachapi from about 2:00 am until after 3:00 am while an X-ray technician drove there to help Heidi. The doctor could probably have operated the X-ray machine but chose to wait instead. Everyone else was in their own states of shock and we consoled each other and hoped Heidi would come through this as best as possible. I mentioned to people that Heidi's chances were very good because the RV was traveling downhill very fast at the point it rolled over her legs. That meant she was not exposed to the full weight of the RV (only a component of the force was "down" because of the slope), and the exposure was for a very brief time. Also, the calves are probably one of the best places to take the wheels compared to all other parts of her body, and after skating for three days Heidi's calves were like steel.

The X-rays showed no broken bones. The doctor was very uncooperative, seeming to be too annoyed or busy to be bothered to show Heidi's X-rays to her or even explain how she should take care of herself after the injury. Before she left she shouted at the doctor,:

You are the worst doctor I have ever had in my entire life!

The lack of emotion in his face made it seem to those who saw that he had probably heard those words more than once in the past.

Heidi "Roadkill" Zimmerman (as she was affectionately called thereafter) was helped out of the emergency hospital and over to her RV at about 3:30 am. While people debated briefly how to carry her up the steps into the RV she simply walked up them under her own power. She remained positive-minded throughout the entire ordeal. Nothing was more joyous than finding out Heidi was going to be OK. She had a bruise and a clear imprint of the the tires across the back of her legs. Her knees had been protected by the knee-pads she was wearing.

We all slept the rest of the night and the next day we met in a restaurant to talk about what happened, revel in the good fortune that Heidi survived what could easily have been a life-altering or life-ending experience. We talked it out and people's spirits rose. Patt Romero showed everyone how she performed her controlled fall maneuver and everyone watched in rapt attention. It was great to see people laughing again. The night's sleep and the large breakfast recharged people's energy reserves and helped to relieve the feelings of shock from the night before.

Then Anna Stubbs, who coordinated the Roller Divas participation, called a meeting for the skaters, exclusive of everyone else. They decided amongst themselves what their conditions were for continuing the skate. They demanded that the SCRIP organizers withdraw money from their accounts to pay back the personal contributions which had covered gasoline and other expenses. They demanded that it be confirmed that the airline tickets which would bring them all back to San Francisco were paid for and collected from the travel agency that booked them. They demanded that SCRIP purchase a CB radio so the RVs could communicate without relying on cellular phones. Up until that point every time one RV needed to contact another cellular phones were used. Unfortunately, we were never able to get the phones to work in the Bakersfield area, which included Tehachapi and the site of Heidi's accident. Thus we were completely without inter-RV communication during the most critical moments of the skate.

There was little debate once the skaters had made up their collective minds because the event was over if the conditions were not met.

Take a moment now to consider the parallels with domestic violence. The skaters had reached their tolerance limits with the SCRIP organizers who had actually assured the skaters that the entire route was flat. The skaters were furious at the sequence of let-downs which turned an event where they were only supposed to skate into one which they had to take control for their own-well being. The SCRIP organizers were also frustrated because they had been powerless without liquid funds to make the trip what they had promised. However, instead of the women backing down or playing a passive role, they laid down the law. They clearly stated their condition for continuation and were ready to end the event if the conditions were not met.

This is exactly what a person needs to do in an abusive situation. They have to insist on the conditions that lead to their safety and well-being, and if they cannot be met they must leave the situation. They cannot back down and simply accept what happens to them. They have to be willing to risk losing something they might love in order to protect themselves. Individuals tried to excuse the SCRIP organizers because their hearts were in the right place even if promises had fallen through. But that plays into the domestic violence cycle because it doesn't create an incentive to avoid future incidents. Instead it sends the message that abuse will be accommodated. To be fair, the SCRIP organizers were not abusing the women. But the pattern of offense and forgiveness is similar. This was different though and the women broke that pattern. They insisted on accountability. These women wanted nothing more than to finish the skate; however, they were unified in their stand that the conditions be met or the event was over.

The conditions were met and the event proceeded.

All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun
Until the Sun Comes Up Over Santa Monica Boulevard

The alcohol incident did more than annoy the skaters -- it divided them. Some of the women didn't mind about the alcohol and thought the other women were making a big deal about nothing. Then the skaters who were opposed to the alcohol had hard feelings back toward those who didn't. It was about 3:00 am and everyone was very tired in every way. The incident polarized everyone in the event, dividing people based on whether they were willing to complete the event without alcohol. The skaters' lack of unity prevented them from asserting their rights. Some of the sakters were simply too tired to try to hold people accountable for what had been previously agreed: that the event was to be drug and alcohol free. Many of the women were very disappointed, but they didn't give up.

The next day people took showers at a public shower facility. They passed out Stoker bars (BTU Stoker was one of the sponsors and provided cases of free bars). They handed out flyers with information on domestic violence and connected with men who were in awe of these incredible women who had skated hundreds of miles to give them a message. The women handed out stoker bars and information cards to young boys who had gathered to play soccer. They asked the boys to repeat "hitting is not OK" before they received their Stoker bars.

Meanwhile the SCRIP organizers contacted the RV rental company which agreed to provide a new RV for use in the rest of the event. All the equipment was loaded into the one operational RV and after a breakfast the skate resumed with almost all skaters on the road. Now the route followed the Pacific Ocean on a beach pathway. The RV could not follow that route and made its way on city streets to a series of meeting points along the route. At each new meeting point some skaters would return to the RV and others would begin skating, but it wasn't based on teams. People skated when they wanted.

That night, after many hours of skating, the replacement RV finally caught up with us to the joy of everyone. The new RV was bigger and more luxurious than either of the other two had been. Half the women transferred their belongings over to the new RV and the skate continued with the original teams taking shifts again.

The women skated shift after shift after shift and San Diego loomed closer. Many of the women had sustained injuries during the course of the event. Not only were the road conditions extreme at times, walking around inside a moving RV entitles one to an assortment of bumps and bruises. The women draft in tight formation while skating and there was one incident where a pile-up occurred. One woman received a minor concussion during that pile-up, but all other skaters with injuries (except Heidi) continued skating anyway. There were several women who suffered no injuries from the road (but nobody was really safe from jostling within the RV). They were all sore and tired from skating so much and sleeping poorly. They were emotionally stressed out over the incidents that had occurred, as well as many smaller confrontations I haven't written about in order to keep this account as short as possible.

You learn a lot about someone when they reach their limits. Some people become passive and give up their power. Some people internalize their anger and frustration. This is dangerous because it invalidates one's own feelings. A person who internalizes these negative feelings feeds into the domestic violence cycle by convincing themselves that they deserved what they got or aren't entitled to better treatment. Young women learn not to express their discontent when they are only given positive feedback when they are a "quiet, good little girls". It is healthier to express negative feelings than to try to dissipate them internally. If it isn't physically safe to express them, then there is no good reason to stay with the person making it unsafe. Get a clue! Staying with them invites real abuse.

Some people become angry or abusive when their limits are exceeded. They have no right to do so but they do anyway because they believe self-control is beyond them, is inconvenient, or isn't as enjoyable. It is impossible to break their pattern of anger until they believe it is worth their effort to change their behavior. It's worth their while when the unacceptable behavior affects them negatively as well. This is why it is so important for people to stand firm when asserting their right not to be abused, and why it is critical that perpetrators of domestic violence be punished under the law so that there is a real deterrent. Police are part of the executive branch of government, not the judicial branch. It is absolutely not their prerogative to choose which incidents to investigate based on how many of those incidents come to trial. They must agressivly pursue reports of domestic violence without regard to whether the case might come to trial. The other side of that coin is that people who report being battered must not drop charges of abuse simply because their batterer is being nice for a while. Once the batterer is released from the legal system they will repeat the pattern of abuse, having learned in no uncertain terms that they can get away with it again. It must become worth their while to change and only their own salvation means enough to them to motivate them. It is, after all, more painful to take the abuse time and again than to stand tough in a criminal proceeding and not give up the charges.

Some people retain a sense of control even if their heart rate doubles. I was impressed that these women remained engaged and in control of themselves. When the pavement was unsafe they returned to the RV until it was safe again. Time and again they had the chance to buckle under but they remained resolute and more determined than ever to complete what they had undertaken what seemed like months before but was in reality only a few days.

I was also impressed with the SCRIP organizers who were never violent and even when angry were still struggling to communicate. They had certainly not planned for the event to go as it had, although there could be no denying that they had not followed through on most of their promises regardless of why. There were many differences of opinion and misunderstandings, but there were also a few uncivil interactions. There was clearly a power struggle occurring between the Roller Divas and the SCRIP coordinators. Despite everything that occurred, the SCRIP organizers remained committed to completing the event.

The skate continued and people's spirits rose again with each mile that passed. Suddenly there was only 78 miles to go to reach San Diego. The shifts continued through the night and into the morning. At about 9:00 am there were about 12 miles to go and almost all the skaters got out to skate. There were only two skaters not on the road -- one with a minor concussion from a fall, and one who had come down with food poisoning the night before. Among the skaters on the road was one woman who had ruptured her hamstring only days before the event but chose to go along for support anyway. At 10:00 am there were only about two miles remaining and Heidi "Roadkill" Zimmerman strapped on her skates and skated to the end with everyone else. Now all skaters were on the road and they followed one another in a flowing line into Balboa Park and to the conclusion of the skate. There was no press, no media events. Someone said they had heard something on the radio but it could only have been pre-recorded because nobody was interviewed during the event.

Then there were tears and laughter and hugs and hoots and many, many photographs were taken of smiling, tired, but not beaten people. The skaters were given their plane tickets and certificates acknowledging their participation in the skate. Then everyone packed up and was dropped off at the San Diego Airport a few miles away. By 4:30 pm on Sunday 11/17 the skaters who didn't live in Southern California were back in San Francisco.

Epilogue

These women completed something incredible despite everything that went wrong and they stood tough when it mattered without losing perspective. It is easy to be proud of heroines like these. I'm grateful I could share this experience with them and offer my support. I know they will never forget those few days and neither will I. I know the momentum of skating 700 miles together will stay with these women as they continue their mission to raise awareness of and reduce instances of domestic violence. If they can do something like this, then the sky is the limit on what they can accomplish.

It is important to recognize that only a few of the women have ever competed professionally in in-line skating. The rest were skaters from all walks of life ranging in ages from 25 to 50. One of the skaters was a grandmother.

I have certainly left out many details of both positive and negative events, but I've tried to write about the whole event fairly and accurately. I understood how the skaters felt at many points because I completed a skate from S.F. to L.A. only a few weeks earlier in the 1996 CORA Skate Against Violence.

This entire write-up of the event is dedicated to Heidi Zimmerman. Nothing in recent memory has made me feel better than watching her climb under her own power into the RV that only a few hours earlier had run over her legs. She demonstrated a kind of indomitable strength that I shall always admire, which was perhaps matched but not exceeded by the rest of the women in the event.

Do you realize that these women skated as a team across about 700 miles of California backroads from San Francisco to San Diego? What are you going to try to tell them they cannot accomplish? I can only imagine what comes next...

Written with love and admiration for these modern heroines,

Howard Cohen
hoco@timefold.com

Participants

• Heather Bostian, Actress, mother of two
• Alice Churchwell, Registered Dental Assistant, grandmother.
• Sam Conlon, 13-time World Footbag Champion (ruptured hamstring)
• Barbara Fitterer, Assistant for Holistic Health Practitioner, Professional Roller Hockey player, S.F. Easton-Tremors.
• Wendy Holbert, Travel Agent, Professional In-Line Speedskater
• Anne McKaskle, Model, mother of one
• Kelly McCown, Attorney, co-founder of Roller Divas, Professional In-Line Speedskater
• Mo McGee, Student at The Academy of Art College
• Liz Miller, Writer and Certified In-line Skate Instructor
• Christine Pavalasky, Paralegal
• Debbie Rangel, Registered Nurse, mother of two.
• Amy Rasmussen, Editor & Notary Public of her own Translating Co.
• Patricia Romero, Director of Operations for "The Adventurous Woman - Sports Classes for Women"
• Anna Stubbs, Sports Massage Therapist, co-founder of Roller Divas, Professional In-Line Speedskater
• Cherie Turner, Sponsorship Coordinator for BTU Stoker
• Janna York, Dental Lab Technician
• Heidi Zimmerman, Sales Representative for K2 Corporation and GU

The SCRIP Organizers were:

• Steve Howe, Computer Technician
• David Freeman, Plumbing contractor

Other Support Personnel:

• Bill Ledent, Silent Tears Foundation
• Howard Cohen, Software Engineer

Contact Information

• For more information about Roller Divas or to contribute to their campaign against domestic violence contact: Anna Stubbs (415) 664-4957
  or
  Kelly McCown (415) 665-0336 (sk8away@hooked.net)
  or
  http://www.hooked.net/~sk8away/rdhome.htm

• For more information about SCRIP contact: David Freeman (619) 229-1166 (skaters@scrip.com)
  or
  http://www.scrip.com

• You can find this write-up of the 1996 Roller Divas/SCRIP San Francisco to San Diego Skate Against Domestic Violence at: http://www.timefold.com/skate/1996sf2sd.html
  or
  send a message to 1996sf2sd@timefold.com
  

• I, Howard Cohen, wrote the preceeding article and have dedicated it to Heidi Zimmerman. If you have questions or comments about what I've written feel free to contact me at: hoco@timefold.com
  or
  http://www.timefold.com