In addition to our the exhibits and activities we had planned (MEZ Screen, hanging puzzle, FSM, Pirate adventures, visual hope dome and voting for hopes) we also had several additional projects which were developed by camp members, including:

• X marks the spot (by Greg Whitehead)
• Homeland Security Checkpoint (by Chris Pirazzi)
• Top Ten lists (by Chris Pirazzi)
• 3:00 plaza tour (organized by Howard)

LNT

Our camp was visited by a few trespissers, who left their pee-spots between cars and by our shower. These are invariably drunk people who have lost any sense that peeing in someone's camp is wrong. We actually caught two drunk guys getting ready to pee in our camp. Their speach slurred by too much alcohol, they mumbled something about not being able to find a bathroom.

Our low-impact shower worked pretty well, but it needed to be caulked to prevent leaking. This was done on-playa. It would have benefitted from a larger exit pipe, but it worked well enough. All-in-all, showering was not a problem in our camp. Everyone was able to shower on Saturday when the camp was broken down. The shower itself took only a few minutes to break down, so we were able to put off breaking it down until the last minute.

We were on the LNT Tour again this year, and we applied for Camp of the Day again this year. The LNT folks liked our shower web page ( http://www.timefold.com/shower) and our commitment to LNT. In fact, several nosefish showers were present at Burning Man this year. Our neighbors (Luna Sanctuary) built one, as well as several other camps. Franziska and Howard visited a camp near Center Camp which had made one and loved theirs. We had no idea until they told us about their cool new shower.

Visual Hope Dome

The puzzle was popular again this year, and survived pretty well. Although, I don't think we'll bring it back next year.

The foam floor didn't do as well this year as last year. Our camp will probably not bring it back next year. We'll just cover our big dome floor with plastic tarps (to catch moop and minimize dust inside the dome).

The top-ten lists are presented below.

The visual voting results are still be tabulated by our scientific staff. Stand by for results...

Flying Spaghetti Monster

The MEZ Video Screen

Pirate Culture

• I'm writing my biography. I call it: Aye.
• How much does pirate corn cost? Buck-an-ear.
• Arrrrrrr we having fun yet?
• I'm going back to the Barrrrrrrrr

X Marks the Spot

Homeland Security Checkpoint

Among the props was a "Homeland Security Terror Threat Level" chart with the following five levels:

It was an instant hit, and people swarmed around to photograph our improvisation. Here's a sample:

• "Excuse me sir, do you have a package?" (baton pointed toward his groin)
• "Hey, no photos!" baton pointed toward someone taking pictures
• Various people were carrying swords or other weapons. We motioned them through with no questions asked.
• Anyone of non-anglo-saxon descent was ushered through, no questions asked, and offered weapons. (Give this man a weapon).
• A few people we interacted with were brought over for "inspection." Chris had prepared a fake metal detector wand with a button that activated a loud buzzer. We would "wand" someone by passing the unit over their arms and legs, etc. Then, when it was over their groin or breasts we would push the button and shout something about carrying concealed weapons. Then, one of a few different things would happen:
  • One of the officers would shout right in their face: "Why do you hate freedom?!?"
  • A chemical test was applied to their body, which consisted of whipped cream, lovingly licked off by one of the female officers.
  • A body cavity search was threatened. Chris had prepared an instructional sign with two steps: 1) remove trousers, 2) back up slowly. He had also prepared a plastic casting of a hand with the forefinger extended. The hand was on the end of a 4' length of rebar. We held this behind the participant.
• At one point, a 20' tall trojan horse art car rolled up to the checkpoint. Howard said "Well, there can't be anything in there, let it through."
• At one point, a Washoe county sheriff parked by our checkpoint and got out. We were concerned. But, it turned out she only wanted to take a photo of us doing our thing. Howard introduced the team as "Bob, Bob, Roberta, and I'm Bob." When she raised her camera, we shouted "Hey, no photos!" She put it down briefly, then got the joke and put it back up and took the photo.
• At one point BLM rangers drove past in an official vehicle. We all saluted them, and they smiled back at us.
• More than once someone bolted through the checkpoint and we chased them for a while, shouting "runner!"
• One person told us that their friend thought we were real, and had quickly turned around and left the plaza.
• At one point a guy was standing nearby laughing his ass off. He told us he was a contractor for the real Homeland Security office.
• As people would walk or ride toward our checkpoint, we'd ask them if they were carrying any liquids, and remind them that ice was a liquid according to the US Government.
• Most people were waved through with statements like "Nothing to see here. Vote republican. Move along."
• Some people were asked "Do you feel safer because we're here?"
• Some people were asked if they'd seen anything "unusual." We saved this question for the most freakishly dressed people. They almost always answered "No."

Top Ten Lists

• Top 10 camps you'd rather not visit
  10. Pirates and Pilates
  9. Alcoholics Anonymous 20 steps to stay sober
  8. Coffee Enema Camp
  7. Coffee Enema Camp
  6. Throw your feces back at the monkeys Camp
  5. Never Stop Learning
  4. Lay in my Pee Camp
  3. Rash Camp
  2. Dust Bath Camp
  1. Hedge Trimmer Bush Cut Camp
  0. Yeast or Bacterial Vaginosis Camp
  -1. Your Turn to do the Dishes Camp

• Top 10 replacement names for "Intelligent Design"
  10. Christianity with Numbers
  9. Hopes & Fears
  8. "The Real" way
  7. Sweat & Tears spread AIDS
  6. Biological "Truth"
  5. Tu Mama
  4. The A.E. Method(ology)
  3. "No more flu shots" Method
  2. "I don't believe in using my brain"
  1. "I can't hear you" science
  0. Big guy in the sky made my pie
  -1. Don't worry so much whether it's right

• Top 10 worst places to find playa dust
  10. Your girlfriend's underpants
  9. Inner ear
  8. Prepucio
  7. Memory
  6. In *my* underwear
  5. Blocking my ability to pee
  4. In my Smegma
  3. In my goggles
  2. In my camera
  1. In my Yalmulke

• Top 10 Alternate Hopes for the Future
  10. I hope this rash doesn't mean what I think it means
  9. I hope for a healthy community for all beings
  8. Eco-worlds
  7. Love, learn, let go, accept and be -- because it all does at once
  6. No republican party
  5. That tomorrow is as good or better than today
  4. Multiple orgasms should be for everybody
  3. All Burning Man all the time
  2. No new taxes
  1. I hope you never look at me in that tone of moustache again!
  0. Republican Senetors' Happy Camp

• Top 10 schwag items I received at Burning Man
  10. Pizza from the Pizza Sluts
  9. Bandanna from the post office when I mailed my letter saying I forgot my bandanna
  8. Your Moop. You pooped it 10 feet back.
  7. The clap
  6. Plan B
  5. This guy's girlfriend
  4. Lunch and Champagne
  3. Last year's big fat pussy cap
  2. A week that resonates for the next 360 days
  1. Home spun, dyed, woven cloth with )'( in it. Thanks Bavarian Guy!
  0. A breath of dust
  -1. Ice cream -- really good stuff too: Cherry Garcia, NY Fudge, etc.
  -2. Clown nose

• Top 10 reasons to ditch the playa now
  10. You can die here -- someone already did
  9. No laundry service
  8. 'feening for a Grande Mocha Frappucino
  7. Hurricane Ernesto downgraded to a tropical storm
  6. Spontaneous erection from George W
  5. B*o*o*o*oring
  4. Need to study for CIA test
  3. All the cool folks here left already
  2. Storm
  1. Dust

• Top 10 strangest moments at Burning Man
  10. The "I am the embodiment of Kundalini" girl
  9. That fucking enormous tornado
  8. Too numerous to count
  7. The NSA flying overhead with cameras
  6. Having dinner with my wife, two topless women, and a nude dude
  5. Coasting at 20mph in a whiteout storm
  4. Detention camp for 2 hours Sunday

• Top 10 common misconceptions about Burning Man
  10. It's hard to sneak in
  9. Everyone Here
  8. It's about sex and drugs
  7. You have to be an extrovert
  6. It's *not* about sex and drugs
  5. Rangers are paramilitaristic
  4. It's safe
  3. People that go are all freaks. Oh wait, that's true.
  2. It's a drug fueled orgy (at 5:00 and Fate)
  1. Larry has your best interests at heart.

• Top 10 worst playa pick-up lines
  10. Hi, I'm Larry Harvey, wanna f***?
  9. Do you come to this two-story, neon pirate ship often?
  8. You've got great energy!
  7. Is your name "Muffin?"
  6. Hey, I'm with the man
  5. Wanna share my shower?
  4. Cum here often?
  3. Do you work at Walmart?
  2. My art project is a Burning Man love child. Wanna help?
  1. Wanna see my playa etchings?

• Top 10 new policies that Burning Man should institute
  10. A pantzooka on every bicycle
  9. No new policies
  8. The customer is always right
  7. Better mannered gate staff
  6. Worse mannered gate staff
  5. Early arrival is two days before the burn
  4. Porta-potty approved tampons
  3. Elimination of all policies
  2. No Yahoos
  1. Gas scooters must qualify as art cars

• Top 10 toys that don't work on the playa
  10. Vacuum cleaner
  9. Dust Buster
  8. Non-water vibrators
  7. Nintendo
  6. Cellphones

3:00 Plaza Tour